A moment or 300 about AFTRS

When I got the email from AFTRS saying I had been accepted, I cried. I was at a mango farm in Townsville, working 16 hours a day, the internet was insanely slow, but as soon as a I saw the words 'We are pleased to inform you' I cried.

I ran out to my mother, who was in a meeting with Coles, and screamed out 'I'M IN'. AFTRS definitely changed my life over the course of 2013, I learned many MANY valuable life lessons as well as creatively moving forwards with my film making. The fact that AFTRS forced us into fast moving, quick thinking projects was definitely something that made me able to think on my feet come final production period.

From the beginning of the year I realized that I had to work hard, be creative when I wasn't feeling creative and be professional. "No matter what, get up, dress up, show up" is the phrase my mother said to me when we found out my Nanna had cancer in her brain. She said that she didn't want that, along with everything else happening to my family at that time, to influence my work. Film is what I want to do, "so make it happen" she said. I found straight from my family throughout this year that I never thought I had.

Throughout the modules, each class made me work intensely hard, not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to. I loved every second of it, I am so passionate about film it's not work, it's the love for it that keeps me going. It's getting up at 5am to be early and get work done, it's waking up at 1am to a text saying the computer has crashed, Premier has lost the entire edit, and we need a plan B. And every time we came up with the ultimate plan B.

I surprised myself on many occasions working and collaborating with people I never thought I would work with. Though I did it tough for most the year, with many of my partners bailing on me (one was due to a family death so obviously I don't mind that) and with the tech store continuously not being able to supply me with equipment. I remember in Image, after not getting a camera, a tripod, after another partner not being able to work with me, after troubles with my landlord and many family issues, my teacher Anna said to me "You have the worst luck of anyone I have ever met", I replied with "yes, but it always makes me work harder and do better because I have to". I think that even though my luck is, lets face it, SHIT, my passion and work ethic make up for it.

Throughout the year I have discovered specific passions for writing, directing, first assistant directing, production and editing. These are what draw me in, I love it all. I've also discovered my love of writing up schedules and call sheets, my love of organization coming from my mother. It's funny to think about, all of these passions come from my love of acting, my need to tell a truthful story, no matter how made up or fake it may be.

Overall, this year has expanded my creativity and innovative mind. It's as simple as that, being around creative people and constantly creating things has made me work hard at being creative and at getting it done! That's just it, actions not words, doing and not just thinking! I leave with my absolute favourite quote from Midnight In Paris, which has stuck with me since I saw the movie and which I have applied to this entire year, through all the hard times.

"We all fear death and question our place in the universe, the artists job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence"

Film, AFTRS, Sydney, my family, my film work, my acting, my friends, my camera. That is my antidote. 

- Rachel Giddens 

Self Confessed Creative

The character of A SINGLE MAN

A SINGLE MAN

My second assignment on this movie, I see A Single Man and think 'This is the type of movie I want to make'. Beautiful, cinematic and meaningful. 

Set in 1960’s Los Angeles, Colin Firth is George, an English professor struggling to come to terms with his boyfriend’s death after a year later. The film, directed by Tom Ford and cinematography by Eduard Grau, show George’s desires and needs on the day he prepares to commit suicide in a visually enhanced and beautifully portrayed sequence of scenes filled with ‘last moments’.

Firths character attempts to fulfill his apparent ‘want’ throughout his last day. His want is to commit suicide and in preparing for this George immaculately organizes his life. Ford shows George’s appreciation for his last day by revisiting old memories of his boyfriend in black and white whilst juxtaposing the current day in heightened colour, showing us through George’s eyes the beauty he is seeing and his appreciation for things he will never see again. George’s main want is to find peace in his last day, but the underlining feeling of the movie shows George is discovering too much beauty in the world to follow through.

The protagonists desire is to feel love, or rather that one love that he had with his deceased boyfriend of sixteen years. The film covers this last day where all he seems to encounter are different forms of love. This is evident through his random interactions with people in his life. For example, a Spanish gigolo Carlos, who’s attractive and charismatic self gives the protagonist a sense of attraction again, of lust and desire. His best friend who is also British, Frankie, reminds him of friendship and of old times. She unknowingly delays George’s suicide by demanding his presence at her home. This provides an excuse for George to delay the suicide. The last and most important relationship that develops that day is with a student from the university who intrigues George and cultivates a longing to feel an honest human connection with someone. George’s desire, through the events of his last day, turns from his want to end his grief into a willingness to live and endure.

“Death is the future,” George says innocently to his student as they involve themselves in a conversation. This single sentence displays beautifully the ‘Maslow’ for the entirety of A Single Man. It is the essence of his drive throughout; it so casually suggests his underlying need to end his life, as he feels he will eventually die and what is the point in prolonging it through this devastation. George therefore displays a need to discover as much beauty in his last day as possible. George’s decision to end his life is changed by the end of the movie, yet his fate stays the same. As he dies the audience feels his ending is timely as he has organized himself and died in a state of peace rather then depression and desperation.

Tom Ford ultimately directs Firth’s characters wants and desires towards a resolution that seems unfair yet justified. George’s ultimate desire of controlling his circumstances is achieved and therefore leaves the movie with a sense of harmony between George’s choices and his fate.

By Rachel A Giddens

A SINGLE MAN, A THOUGHT ON THE FILM

A SINGLE MAN

A Single Man is set in 1960’s Los Angeles, which in itself constructs the social expectations of a single English professor. The protagonist George contradicts social beliefs of the 1960’s through his behavior and surroundings. His house is impeccable and modern compared to his neighboring houses, which display American dreams and white picket fences. As an English professor he contradicts societies normality’s through a lecture that displays his contemporary beliefs and profound thoughts that contrast an ‘idealistic’ 1960’s structured idea on social behavior.

“A minority is only thought of by some when it constitutes some type of threat to the majority, a real threat or a imagined one, and therein lies the fear” states George as he looses his social graces during a lecture. He establishes his world as he talks, inadvertently relating to his own sexuality as a gay man as a minority. George had been cut off from his old life when his boyfriend dies in a car accident; he is cut off from the family after the funeral because of social resistance to differences. His partner’s death is the catalyzing event that turns his universe upside down, forcing him into a state of melancholy and segregation. The characters obstacle is his own exclusion from society, he faces extreme inner torment as seen throughout the movie when we are shown his point of view through close ups, establishing to the audience that his thought process is more profound than an average person. Everything about George is different and he seems to be living outside societies own verdict of his self-governing behavior.

The movie portrays George’s fantasy of taking his own life to escape this internal torture and grief which he faces daily. He is a fish out of water, alone and depressed to the point where he is so excluded from his own being there is no where to go but into the future as he states “death is the future”. George’s goal is to escape his grief and because of this unbearable pain, he attempts to experience beauty and pleasure as he embarks on an emotional rollercoaster throughout his last day. This is implied through his colourful interactions with others and with himself, as well as his detailed preparation for his death, such as when he empties his safety deposit box and relives one of his happiest memories, or as he sets up his accounts and his will on his desk for when they find him. George seems content with his decision until he reaches a point in the day where life is too interesting and full to ignore.

Throughout the entire film George has reoccurring dreams of drowning, being surrounded by water and not being able to come up for air. These dreams are worked into the film periodically along with a ticking clock sound that adds suspense whilst symbolizing his grief and the foreshadowing of his ultimate end. When George actually has a near death experience by almost drowning in the ocean, it seems to awaken the will to live inside him. All the events of that day are pulled into this moment where he has to choose between drowning or surfacing. George fights and in turn is rescued as he realizes he still posses the will to live.

Yet, a paradox is reached by the climax of the film when George comes to a state of peace with himself and his existence, deciding that life is full of moments of clarity, these moments so beautiful that they are worth living for. He feels as though he has finally surfaced from his depression. As he reaches this stage of content, the symbolic clock that has been ticking throughout the entire film stops, and so does George’s heart.

By Rachel A Giddens

SPINNING

An idea for a web series...

This idea began at the beginning of the year but is still swirling around in my head, making me think about all the possibilities that come with the open ended concept; What if?

What if you forgot your keys today? What if you didn't answer that phone call? Every decision we make could impact the rest of our lives in the most profound way. Think about it and you can probably recall a moment when you chose one jacket instead of the other, and found an extra $10 that enabled you to buy another beer which meant you struck up a conversation with a bar tender and then you became best friends. What if.

To be continued...

FLASHBACK - Character and Performance

My character and performance class was a flashback, I have previously completed a full time acting course at Film and Television International where I studied acting and all of the practitioners that we studied in this class. The main high light for me was being able to direct professional actors. That is the part of character and performance that really got to me.

I want to be a director because I know what it is like to be an actor, I know the pressures and the struggles and I also know how people work in order to get around them. When it came to this class we had a female and male actor come in, certain lines were learned and we would give them a scenario that they would build on. We basically had to direct them through the scene and make it as honest as possible.

I told the actors that this scene was about a breakup, a guy and a girl who had broken up. The guy wanted the girl back, the girl wanted the guy to get away from her. He cheated. I told this to the actors and immediately picked up on their vulnerability concerning the situation. We've all been there... And so we tried it, but they were holding back. An actor always holds back when they are vulnerable, they don't want to but they do. They are feeling it, but they hide it so that people around can't see how truly vulnerable they really are. And so I asked them to do it again, and I asked them to relate to every word they were saying. I wanted them to try substitution, because that always worked for me. They did and they let it go, let it all out, it was dynamite.

This was truly an experience that has made my belief that I could be a good director even stronger, as I saw how I affected these actors and the result I got was exactly what I wanted.

Makes me think all directors should have acting experience, it helps you connect with what you're doing and why, both in acting and in yourself.

DESIGNED AND DELIVERED

Mrs. Ames

Backstory: Mrs. Ames was a swimmer for the Olympics before she turned 25 and became a teacher. Her father was extremely tough on her as a child; she therefore has a very unforgiving personality. Mrs. Ames is now 29 and is very aware that she is now unmarried. Her husband, who she married at 17, died when she was 23, which was also the last Olympic game she was involved in.

Mrs. Ames now strives to be married again, but finds it difficult because of her job, her age and the small town she lives in. 

The design was inspired by the original ‘The Commercial’ Story mixed with the teacher from the movie ‘An Education’. I wanted the model to be pretty yet intimidating in classic teacher attire. 

Final Product is the sculpture...

  

OH WOODY ALLEN, OH ANNE SIEBEL

Still gets me. This one sequence. Midnight in Paris is a must see.

EMOTIONAL NOISE

This was an extremely interesting module, I myself am a more visual person rather than audio, and it was quite hard for me to connect to the classes in the beginning as I didn't feel like I could relate to the lecturer or understand where he was coming from.

However, I do have a love for music and the classic especially, our teacher was very good at making us listen to the classics and give them new meaning. He was really able to let us relate to the music, asking us primarily: What did you FEEL when you listened to that?

After the first week I was hooked. We looked at how music influences the way a film turns and the way it uses music to make us film an emotion. As an aspiring editor I found this extremely interesting. From there we started to work on our own reflective piece which had to be something about ourselves... In my pitch as I attempted to connect my class with my child hood. But, I later discovered that my child hood is quite different from anyone elses... As I worked in mango farms and waited for my father to come home from flying planes, looking after my little brother at the age of 11 and moving cities at the ago of 10. Running around in fields of green in Cairns and following acting as a dream at age 12. My child hood was an experience. To follow this I used an exert from a poem called 'The Piano', which my aunty Chrissie made me rehearse and learn so that I had clear pronunciation...

Piano

BY D. H. (DAVID HERBERT) LAWRENCE

Softly, in the dusk, a woman is singing to me;

Taking me back down the vista of years, till I see

A child sitting under the piano, in the boom of the tingling strings

And pressing the small, poised feet of a mother who smiles as she sings.

In spite of myself, the insidious mastery of song

Betrays me back, till the heart of me weeps to belong

To the old Sunday evenings at home, with winter outside

And hymns in the cosy parlour, the tinkling piano our guide.

So now it is vain for the singer to burst into clamour

With the great black piano appassionato. The glamour

Of childish days is upon me, my manhood is cast

Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past.

Still gets me every time. The emotion that comes from noise, (cliche as the class is called emotional noise but it's truthful) was the thing I mostly took away from the class, knowing that a song can bring back a emotion or memory instantly fascinates me. 

DESIGNING WORLDS

Designing Worlds was a favorite, though I had completed a lot of the things we were doing in that class already (e.g. the sculptures). It was really interesting to learn about the design techniques that go into movies. We did a presentation on this and mine was on ANNE SIEBEL, who did the production design for Woody Allen's Midnight In Paris. I was completely inspired and would love to follow down that road one day, after I have followed all of the other roads I need to travel.

The sculptures we did were to create a world based on a Charles Dickens novel. I created a angry Russian teacher, who turned out quite nice. We also did a stop motion piece as a class exercise, which turned out to be one of my favourites.

CREATING EXPERIENCES

WHAT IS WATCHDOG? ARG EXPERIENCE

Creating Experiences was definitely the most rewarding and difficult module of the entire year. I was fortunate enough to work with an amazing crew, and our final Alternate Reality Game was a complete success. No matter what obstacles hit this crew, we fought through it to get to an amazing result!

In the beginning, myself, Nikki Chadwick, Lisa Ryan, Bianca Benussi and Danielle Payne went forward with creating a story world around a previous idea of mine. The world however was no strong, and our first pitch crumbled. But, we built a newer, better idea which became WHAT IS WATCHDOG? The ARG. Luke Dampney Williams and William Wong also joined our team. I was director of Watchdog. Together we formed an amazing crew which worked efficiently (mostly) and quickly. Any problem that came up, and there were A LOT, we solved. When it came to the final ARG, everything ran smoothly, and then we had about 24 hrs to create a presentation to pitch our idea. It was on. Until I got a text at 3am from Lisa saying her computer had crashed and she had lost the Watchdog trailer.

Myself and Bianca got to AFTRS by 8am to assist Lisa and create the final power point presentation. We finished with half an hour to spare, and when we did the presentation, it was dynamite.

Very very rarely do you get to work with a crew of people who really click, have a great understanding of what needs to be done and how to collaborate with others in the group. The Watchdog team was this, and I am so grateful I had the chance to work with such talented people, which will hopefully lead me to work with them again!

EXPLORATIVE JOURNAL ENTRY (MARCH 13)

RACHEL GIDDENS

- Explorative journal

Entry 01- STUNT WORK

~What is the most important issue in stunt work?

Based from the class/workshop ‘illusions of danger’ with Grant Page & Joshua Ballinger, it was evident the biggest problem with stunt work is unpredictable factors. Basically all factors must be considered when performing the stunts, so supposedly all aspects must be considered, but unpredictable circumstances are the biggest issue.

~How are stunts planned and prepared?

Each stunt is different, obviously, but the stunts (especially in Australia) are more hands on therefore are more dangerous. They are planned down to the finest detail so that the stunt men and women are as prepared as they possibly could be.

~How did you feel about your experience?

Basically, I was terrified of the jump. When I was younger I was afraid of heights, and then I turned fourteen and decided that fear was the one thing in life that would hold me back, so I made myself do these types of things to overcome that fear. So the experience was terrifying, but exhilarating and its amazing to think that so many people go there entire lives without experiencing something as amazing as this.

~What are your strengths, weaknesses and passions?

·      STRENGHTS: Everything creative comes very naturally to me. Social behaviour and interaction is another strength. I’m hard working and have often forced myself to make myself better and more disciplined to overcome weaknesses. Art, acting, cinematography, directing, photography – these are all strengths but I think my greatest strength is the ability to do exactly what I WANT to do.

·      WEAKNESSES: Technology and spelling. I am also very bad at dealing with people who are unprofessional in the work place or people who aren’t hard working and try to cheat the system. I also find it very difficult to work with someone if I don’t like their attitude. One last thing, I am very critical towards myself, I judge myself too harshly and too often aim for my own idea of perfection.

·      PASSIONS: Everything creative, exciting, scary and everything that gives me an adrenalin rush! My great passion in life is to do something huge I am proud of, be very accomplished in many creative areas and to become an Auteur in the Australian and International Film and Television industry.

ENTRY 02 – SHARE AN IDEA

What impressed you most?

-       I was very impressed by everyone’s creativity and ability to get involved and enthused about someone else’s work and ideas. I like how everyone felt free to share their creative ideas and expand on their ideas as they had conversations with people whose ideas were similar.

What dynamics changed?

-       The dynamics of the group changed because depending on what ideas people had, it gave everyone else an insight into what they’re interested in and who they are as a person.

What do you feel about the experience and why?

-       I enjoyed the overall experience. I found as I explained my ideas I formed new ideas as I went. It was interesting because I didn’t get much resulting feedback from my idea. I was only asked two or so questions that I already had figured out and which didn’t force me to think at all. I guess I can take that in a way were I explained myself well and didn’t leave any questions to be asked.

What did you observe happening with your idea?

-       As I was speaking and explain I myself realised gaps in the script and story line, and instinctively I came up with solutions for these gaps as I spoke. I also became more involved in certain aspects of my idea and realised the points of the plot line, which were most important to the story.

What were your thoughts and feelings before and after the idea?

-       I was fairly confident about sharing my idea because I had formed it so carefully and am generally a confident speaker who is really good at on the spot questions and constructive criticism. Plus I really enjoy getting feedback on my work and answering questions about my work to clarify certain details in my own mind. I was a bit let down after the session just because I would have liked some constructive criticism about my work and more collaboration on my idea to enhance my script and form more ideas for myself.

OBSERVATION AND RESEARCH

Observation and Research is a module at AFTRS focused on teaching us about the power of documentary film making. I discovered throughout this module that I do love documentaries and how they find a good story within a idea. Throughout the module we had to interview someone we didn't know and observe someone doing something.

INTERVIEW: I interviewed a Scottish vet named Scott who also dabbles in photography. Scott was extremely softly spoken and shy, his accent matching the tone of his voice perfectly. Whilst interviewing Scott we spoke about his past, how he came to Australia, his love for photography and the reason for Australia; his now x girlfriend. She was a soft point, we spoke about her briefly and it was a beautiful conversation to have. Everyone has been in love and had their heart broken, Scott was now relate-able.

OBSERVATION: I had just moved in with two girls into a new apartment in Bellevue Hill. One of the girls, Sammy, was in the very very very long process of unpacking her room. I decided the experience was perfect because of her character and her behavior. Sammy eventually did unpack her room, over the course of 3 days, in-between four McDonald's runs and one trip to the bottle-o.

PRESENTATION TO SCREEN AUSTRALIA: Our final assessment was a pitch to screen Australia on a documentary we would like to create. It came to me instantly. What is the one thing I obsess about that has nothing to do with the creative industries? My mothers mango company MANBULLOO MANGO'S. This company has been half my life since I was nine, and continues to take up 2 months of my life throughout the year during the season. The documentary would be called 'The Season' and would follow my family as we go through each season and it's hardships. People forget that farmers struggle, every year, to bring good quality products to the super markets. I wanted to highlight that struggle, and emphasize everything that goes wrong on your typical mango farm. Myself and another employee had a joke going at the end of the 2012 season. Murphy's Law, Manbulloo Limited, What can go wrong will go wrong! See above the trailer I created ^^^ A very rough cut with footage I filmed originally for my mother to show the mechanical failures of the mango machine, and with radio talks my mother has done over the past few years.

SIX THEMES #2

One of two video's I am uploading, the rest are a secret.

SIX THEMES

BUILD A TENSION

JUX & RYTHM TAKE 3

Self Expository...

This is a small exert of my piece, I decided to talk bout my passion for visual art instead of always focusing on my love for acting and film. I speak about how my father, who is an amazing man, and who influenced my creativity from a very early age, and most probably shaped me into the person I am today.

In the rest of this piece I go on to experiment, and attempt to draw a self portrait of myself. I had never successfully done this, until now.

JUXTAPOSITION AND RYTHM TAKE 2

My Chase Scene.

I was out running and I kept on imagining what it would be like to feel like someone was chasing after you, or worse to actually have someone following you when you went on your late night run. These paranoid thoughts are what inspired this very amateur IPhone video, as I wasn't supplied with proper equipment. 

JUXTAPOSTION AND RYTHM

This module was extremely interesting to me, I love to edit a movie because I think the entire tone and mood can be created in an edit. If the editing is bad, the movie is bad, if the editing is exceptional, the movie is exceptional, in my personal opinion. Throughout this module at AFTRS, we were asked to edit clips of certain short cuts of films into different themes.

1. Build a tension
2. Cause and Effect
3. Contrast
4. Create a metaphor
5. Create an emotion
6. Imply a memory

Each of these themes, to me, were extremely doable and very vague, which meant I was able to experiment in the editing room and create small 30 second-1 minute clips which explored these themes.

After these were completed, we analyzed many movies and the way the editor could manipulate the audience into feeling an emotion or noticing a detail in the plot which left them thinking they understood the world on the screen. After these we had to complete a SELF EXPOSITORY piece and a CHASE SCENE, both of which I had extreme difficulty with... But ended up getting finished and turning out quite nicely! Stay tuned for the videos!

The Reflection Of A Year...

Get Ready as all of my thoughts and experiences from the past year dominate this blog within the next 24 hours. My hands type whilst my hair turns different shades of brown, caffeine in the forms of Coca Cola and Coffee at the ready. Come at me REFLECTION.