A moment or 300 about AFTRS

When I got the email from AFTRS saying I had been accepted, I cried. I was at a mango farm in Townsville, working 16 hours a day, the internet was insanely slow, but as soon as a I saw the words 'We are pleased to inform you' I cried.

I ran out to my mother, who was in a meeting with Coles, and screamed out 'I'M IN'. AFTRS definitely changed my life over the course of 2013, I learned many MANY valuable life lessons as well as creatively moving forwards with my film making. The fact that AFTRS forced us into fast moving, quick thinking projects was definitely something that made me able to think on my feet come final production period.

From the beginning of the year I realized that I had to work hard, be creative when I wasn't feeling creative and be professional. "No matter what, get up, dress up, show up" is the phrase my mother said to me when we found out my Nanna had cancer in her brain. She said that she didn't want that, along with everything else happening to my family at that time, to influence my work. Film is what I want to do, "so make it happen" she said. I found straight from my family throughout this year that I never thought I had.

Throughout the modules, each class made me work intensely hard, not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to. I loved every second of it, I am so passionate about film it's not work, it's the love for it that keeps me going. It's getting up at 5am to be early and get work done, it's waking up at 1am to a text saying the computer has crashed, Premier has lost the entire edit, and we need a plan B. And every time we came up with the ultimate plan B.

I surprised myself on many occasions working and collaborating with people I never thought I would work with. Though I did it tough for most the year, with many of my partners bailing on me (one was due to a family death so obviously I don't mind that) and with the tech store continuously not being able to supply me with equipment. I remember in Image, after not getting a camera, a tripod, after another partner not being able to work with me, after troubles with my landlord and many family issues, my teacher Anna said to me "You have the worst luck of anyone I have ever met", I replied with "yes, but it always makes me work harder and do better because I have to". I think that even though my luck is, lets face it, SHIT, my passion and work ethic make up for it.

Throughout the year I have discovered specific passions for writing, directing, first assistant directing, production and editing. These are what draw me in, I love it all. I've also discovered my love of writing up schedules and call sheets, my love of organization coming from my mother. It's funny to think about, all of these passions come from my love of acting, my need to tell a truthful story, no matter how made up or fake it may be.

Overall, this year has expanded my creativity and innovative mind. It's as simple as that, being around creative people and constantly creating things has made me work hard at being creative and at getting it done! That's just it, actions not words, doing and not just thinking! I leave with my absolute favourite quote from Midnight In Paris, which has stuck with me since I saw the movie and which I have applied to this entire year, through all the hard times.

"We all fear death and question our place in the universe, the artists job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence"

Film, AFTRS, Sydney, my family, my film work, my acting, my friends, my camera. That is my antidote. 

- Rachel Giddens 

Self Confessed Creative

The character of A SINGLE MAN

A SINGLE MAN

My second assignment on this movie, I see A Single Man and think 'This is the type of movie I want to make'. Beautiful, cinematic and meaningful. 

Set in 1960’s Los Angeles, Colin Firth is George, an English professor struggling to come to terms with his boyfriend’s death after a year later. The film, directed by Tom Ford and cinematography by Eduard Grau, show George’s desires and needs on the day he prepares to commit suicide in a visually enhanced and beautifully portrayed sequence of scenes filled with ‘last moments’.

Firths character attempts to fulfill his apparent ‘want’ throughout his last day. His want is to commit suicide and in preparing for this George immaculately organizes his life. Ford shows George’s appreciation for his last day by revisiting old memories of his boyfriend in black and white whilst juxtaposing the current day in heightened colour, showing us through George’s eyes the beauty he is seeing and his appreciation for things he will never see again. George’s main want is to find peace in his last day, but the underlining feeling of the movie shows George is discovering too much beauty in the world to follow through.

The protagonists desire is to feel love, or rather that one love that he had with his deceased boyfriend of sixteen years. The film covers this last day where all he seems to encounter are different forms of love. This is evident through his random interactions with people in his life. For example, a Spanish gigolo Carlos, who’s attractive and charismatic self gives the protagonist a sense of attraction again, of lust and desire. His best friend who is also British, Frankie, reminds him of friendship and of old times. She unknowingly delays George’s suicide by demanding his presence at her home. This provides an excuse for George to delay the suicide. The last and most important relationship that develops that day is with a student from the university who intrigues George and cultivates a longing to feel an honest human connection with someone. George’s desire, through the events of his last day, turns from his want to end his grief into a willingness to live and endure.

“Death is the future,” George says innocently to his student as they involve themselves in a conversation. This single sentence displays beautifully the ‘Maslow’ for the entirety of A Single Man. It is the essence of his drive throughout; it so casually suggests his underlying need to end his life, as he feels he will eventually die and what is the point in prolonging it through this devastation. George therefore displays a need to discover as much beauty in his last day as possible. George’s decision to end his life is changed by the end of the movie, yet his fate stays the same. As he dies the audience feels his ending is timely as he has organized himself and died in a state of peace rather then depression and desperation.

Tom Ford ultimately directs Firth’s characters wants and desires towards a resolution that seems unfair yet justified. George’s ultimate desire of controlling his circumstances is achieved and therefore leaves the movie with a sense of harmony between George’s choices and his fate.

By Rachel A Giddens

A SINGLE MAN, A THOUGHT ON THE FILM

A SINGLE MAN

A Single Man is set in 1960’s Los Angeles, which in itself constructs the social expectations of a single English professor. The protagonist George contradicts social beliefs of the 1960’s through his behavior and surroundings. His house is impeccable and modern compared to his neighboring houses, which display American dreams and white picket fences. As an English professor he contradicts societies normality’s through a lecture that displays his contemporary beliefs and profound thoughts that contrast an ‘idealistic’ 1960’s structured idea on social behavior.

“A minority is only thought of by some when it constitutes some type of threat to the majority, a real threat or a imagined one, and therein lies the fear” states George as he looses his social graces during a lecture. He establishes his world as he talks, inadvertently relating to his own sexuality as a gay man as a minority. George had been cut off from his old life when his boyfriend dies in a car accident; he is cut off from the family after the funeral because of social resistance to differences. His partner’s death is the catalyzing event that turns his universe upside down, forcing him into a state of melancholy and segregation. The characters obstacle is his own exclusion from society, he faces extreme inner torment as seen throughout the movie when we are shown his point of view through close ups, establishing to the audience that his thought process is more profound than an average person. Everything about George is different and he seems to be living outside societies own verdict of his self-governing behavior.

The movie portrays George’s fantasy of taking his own life to escape this internal torture and grief which he faces daily. He is a fish out of water, alone and depressed to the point where he is so excluded from his own being there is no where to go but into the future as he states “death is the future”. George’s goal is to escape his grief and because of this unbearable pain, he attempts to experience beauty and pleasure as he embarks on an emotional rollercoaster throughout his last day. This is implied through his colourful interactions with others and with himself, as well as his detailed preparation for his death, such as when he empties his safety deposit box and relives one of his happiest memories, or as he sets up his accounts and his will on his desk for when they find him. George seems content with his decision until he reaches a point in the day where life is too interesting and full to ignore.

Throughout the entire film George has reoccurring dreams of drowning, being surrounded by water and not being able to come up for air. These dreams are worked into the film periodically along with a ticking clock sound that adds suspense whilst symbolizing his grief and the foreshadowing of his ultimate end. When George actually has a near death experience by almost drowning in the ocean, it seems to awaken the will to live inside him. All the events of that day are pulled into this moment where he has to choose between drowning or surfacing. George fights and in turn is rescued as he realizes he still posses the will to live.

Yet, a paradox is reached by the climax of the film when George comes to a state of peace with himself and his existence, deciding that life is full of moments of clarity, these moments so beautiful that they are worth living for. He feels as though he has finally surfaced from his depression. As he reaches this stage of content, the symbolic clock that has been ticking throughout the entire film stops, and so does George’s heart.

By Rachel A Giddens

SPINNING

An idea for a web series...

This idea began at the beginning of the year but is still swirling around in my head, making me think about all the possibilities that come with the open ended concept; What if?

What if you forgot your keys today? What if you didn't answer that phone call? Every decision we make could impact the rest of our lives in the most profound way. Think about it and you can probably recall a moment when you chose one jacket instead of the other, and found an extra $10 that enabled you to buy another beer which meant you struck up a conversation with a bar tender and then you became best friends. What if.

To be continued...

FLASHBACK - Character and Performance

My character and performance class was a flashback, I have previously completed a full time acting course at Film and Television International where I studied acting and all of the practitioners that we studied in this class. The main high light for me was being able to direct professional actors. That is the part of character and performance that really got to me.

I want to be a director because I know what it is like to be an actor, I know the pressures and the struggles and I also know how people work in order to get around them. When it came to this class we had a female and male actor come in, certain lines were learned and we would give them a scenario that they would build on. We basically had to direct them through the scene and make it as honest as possible.

I told the actors that this scene was about a breakup, a guy and a girl who had broken up. The guy wanted the girl back, the girl wanted the guy to get away from her. He cheated. I told this to the actors and immediately picked up on their vulnerability concerning the situation. We've all been there... And so we tried it, but they were holding back. An actor always holds back when they are vulnerable, they don't want to but they do. They are feeling it, but they hide it so that people around can't see how truly vulnerable they really are. And so I asked them to do it again, and I asked them to relate to every word they were saying. I wanted them to try substitution, because that always worked for me. They did and they let it go, let it all out, it was dynamite.

This was truly an experience that has made my belief that I could be a good director even stronger, as I saw how I affected these actors and the result I got was exactly what I wanted.

Makes me think all directors should have acting experience, it helps you connect with what you're doing and why, both in acting and in yourself.

DESIGNED AND DELIVERED

Mrs. Ames

Backstory: Mrs. Ames was a swimmer for the Olympics before she turned 25 and became a teacher. Her father was extremely tough on her as a child; she therefore has a very unforgiving personality. Mrs. Ames is now 29 and is very aware that she is now unmarried. Her husband, who she married at 17, died when she was 23, which was also the last Olympic game she was involved in.

Mrs. Ames now strives to be married again, but finds it difficult because of her job, her age and the small town she lives in. 

The design was inspired by the original ‘The Commercial’ Story mixed with the teacher from the movie ‘An Education’. I wanted the model to be pretty yet intimidating in classic teacher attire. 

Final Product is the sculpture...

  

OH WOODY ALLEN, OH ANNE SIEBEL

Still gets me. This one sequence. Midnight in Paris is a must see.